Hello again readers,
I am completely overwhelmed by all the support this blog has received since my first post: thank you!
This week, I have been filling my body with as much carbs and protein as I can take. The reason for the increase in chicken, fish, eggs, rice and beans is because on Sunday, I am running the Brighton Half Marathon! I am extremely nervous because training has not gone well. As usual, I have been very stressed at work, which I think has triggered depression. I have persevered though and with my past experiences under my belt, (2 Marathons and 1 half) I have finally decided that I am not pulling out! depression-and-daily-stress-of-life
teaching and depression the perfect team
On Monday, I went for my longest run this year of 8.15 miles. I was slow but I did it and I could have carried on. I am so pleased I forced myself out because it boosted my confidence. The moon was out and shone down on me as I ran along the atmospheric sea front and there were lots of other runners out too. It was great to secretly compete with them to try to pick up my pace.
However, the best thing about the run wasn't the fresh air, beautiful scenery or the interactions with complete strangers and that sense of community; it was that my mind was calm, peaceful and I was lost in the moment. All of my anxieties and stresses vanished as I was transfixed on what I was doing - running. I felt like the pure version of me, without the dramas, negativity and doubt that the world forces you to deal with. It was extremely liberating! depression-its-not-all-bad
Don't get me wrong, most of the time, the idea of changing into my running gear, braving the cold and exercising when I'm tired and hungry seems horrific, but when I'm actually out there doing it, I feel fantastic and completely positive. One of the main reasons why I am not cancelling the Half Marathon this Sunday is because I remember the rush of excitement, pride and happiness I feel when I pass that finish line! It really is the best feeling!
So, tomorrow after approximately 2 hours of running, when I will be cold, exhausted, starving and my legs are tight and screaming out in pain, I will remember that I didn't let work control my life and I didn't let stress and depression stop me from achieving something important to me. These positive thoughts will support me through my tough times when depression seems to be winning!
I'm not saying that running is for everyone but any form of exercise where you can lose yourself for those few minutes is something worth trying. I think we are at our happiest when we are living in the moment and not worrying about the past or contemplating the future...
Wish me luck for tomorrow
Won't be beaten
Read my complete blog here:
I will not spend my half-term depressed on social media
Happy Birthday dad - how past can affect us
The power of music on the mind