Monday, 1 February 2016

Depression and the daily stress of life

Hello there,

Before I begin, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who is reading so far and for all the words of encouragement! 

My last entry mentioned that I was heading to the country for a relaxing weekend; it was wonderful:  good food, calm, beautiful surroundings and above all, fantastic company.  I returned home feeling like a new person entirely! I am so pleased that I pushed myself to go.  Then Monday arrived...

I woke up and from 6.30am, when I am told that a member of staff is off sick, to 6pm, when I eventually sneak out of school, I don't stop - barely finding time to wee!  I find myself darting around the school, making sure that everything goes smoothly and the year group (I'm a year leader) is not crumbling around me.  Finally, the working day is done and I have survived.  Then I make my way home...

The one single thing I managed to do for myself today was to buy Sia's new album.  I'm a massive fan; I love the drama and my body tingles to her emotive lyrics.   Before you judge me, yes I still buy CDs.  Its a my guilty pleasure!  Anyway, I rush from school to the shop (arriving just in time) then frantically hot step it to the busy supermarket to buy dinner.  I grab a few bits as I can't cope with the people who have no social awareness and I just want my slippers on at this point.  I pay for the items and am judged because I forgot to bring reusable bags with me and have to buy more!  The scandal!

  Next, I arrive home, take out the bins, which have somehow managed to ooze a vinegar-like substance all over the kitchen floor so I mop that up too.  I remember to put on the dinner and then I unload and load the dishwasher which hasn't been done in a week because I struggled to do anything last week and my boyfriend works long hours and is barely home some weekdays.  In truth, it is my job.

Finally, at 7.30pm, I sit down to a curry dinner and I can write my blog (the second thing today that I want to do for myself).  No wonder I suffer from depression - daily living in the modern world is unsustainable and far too hectic and stressful!

I urge you to be better than me, take a stand and try to slow down once in a while.  Go buy a CD.  Listen to it.  Do one or two things each day simply because you want to.  I need to take my own advice more than anyone.  Sometimes I worry the stress will cause me to have a heart attack.  I need to watch my stress levels because it's not good for anyone.

I love doing so many things but never seem to have time for any of them.  I think I need to stop complaining, take responsibility for my own actions and force myself to do the things I enjoy more often - it can only have a positive affect!

I hope your Monday was not as manic as mine felt.

We won't be beaten

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