It is completely brilliant to see that people out there are reading. It would be so fantastic to hear from you and your experiences!
I am shattered today; the light box is on and I'm drinking wine as I write. Since teaching, my alcohol intake has increased dramatically. I think it numbs my brain and helps me forget about the stresses of the day. The problem though is that it is also linked to depression! I know I need to cut down or stop altogether but I'm stuck in a cycle. I'm so used to a glass or two after work that I didn't even ponder Dry January!
I have always struggled with alcohol and as I am complete light weight, I have terrible hangovers and I end up feeling rubbish for days after. Why do I do it to myself? Social pressure plays a huge part. Every time I'm asked out, it involves drinking. It's impossible to avoid and when you try, you are judged by everyone around you who thinks you are either the most boring person on the planet or you have something seriously wrong with you! Maybe I'm just trying to be a little healthier? The next time I refuse a drink, I should just be honest and tell them that I don't want to drink because it makes me cry and feel low.
When I'm having a bad time and I go out drinking (proper out all night drinking), it is a complete car crash - even now. I become rude, arrogant, negative and start crying uncontrollably. The amount of birthdays I have ruined because I get carried away! I've had shirt sleeves ripped off, my face slapped and have been pushed off a podium more times than I can remember - all caused by the lack of self control when it comes to a pint on a night out.
When will I learn that drinking is not good for me and is not good for my depression? Next week, starting Monday, I will have a no alcohol rule. I wonder if my week will improve and teaching will seem more bearable...I'll let you know. It's 5 days. I can manage 5 days...
I hope you have an excellent Friday.
Won't be beaten
Follow my complete blog here: